Masterchef: The Professionals

I seem to be doing rather well at guessing what Gregg Wallace is going to say after Monica Galetti and Michel Roux Jnr have both said their bit in this latest series!

Roux: I can see what you were trying to do, but it lacks seasoning.
Gregg: It is going in the right direction, but you need to season it more.

Galetti: Your skills are there, but you have tried to do too much with flavours.
Gregg: There is just a confusion of flavours going on. You need to tone it down.

Roux: The rabbit is beautifully cooked but it is lacking a sauce. It’s screaming out for a jus or something to act as a vehicle for flavour.
Gregg: The flavour of the well-seasoned rabbit is a dream. It’s just too dry without a sauce.

I reckon I could do Gregg Wallace’s job almost as well him. Simply take a large ladle of what the professionals are saying and pour it on thick in my own words whilst gazing at them adoringly. Easy.

And, failing that, simply shovel the food in and withdraw the fork from mouth very, very slowly. Then say something like, "Mmmm... salad leaves, tuna, broad beans, the sweet cherry tomatoes, the hard boiled egg, olives and anchovies. It doesn't get much better than this." Congratulations, Gregg, on listing all the ingredients of a Salad Nicoise, which we can already see on the plate.

John Torode is a far better sidekick for Gregg Wallace. They, at least, enjoy expressing their own independent and sometimes differing opinions, rather than simply knocking sycophantic agreements back and forth.

Yawn.