I Accept

Just before my Grandmother died she told me that one of the most liberating things to be able to say in life is, "J'accepte". I don't know why she said it in French, but I hung on to her words just in case they came in handy one day.

I only now understand what she meant by this.

My “flat situation” is still unresolved. I live with my sister and her family. Waste water still comes into my home. The owner of the flat upstairs is stretching Court deadlines to her heart's content. She referred me to the Mental Health Unit saying that I was insane. She employed two men to take a chainsaw to my hedge. It would seem that we are at her mercy. For now. My solicitor gave me the low-down yesterday. I asked her for the unabridged worst-case scenario. In truth, the biggest struggle for me over the past year has been that I have had my hopes of moving back into my little home dashed time and time again. Every time we have been "getting close" to a resolve, this woman in question manages to duck under the radar and delay matters further.

So, having finally learnt from my solicitor what the lengthy Court process will be, I know that we have an endless wait ahead of us. We'll be applying to the Court for "Unless Orders", which will state that unless she does what is required of her then there will be consequences. It would appear that there might in fact have to be many "Unless Orders" served on her until we finally get there. Alas, she is also under no obligation to fix any leaks until after the trial now. This means that my home will continue to suffer ingress and I will have to continue living at my sister’s out of my suitcase for the foreseeable future. As a homeowner, I have had very few rights in this whole ghastly dispute. It is very VERY worrying that there aren't Laws in place to fast-track the process and to properly protect members of the public who are being victimised and bullied out of their homes.

The trial is to be timetabled for the first available dates after 15th July. However, she might not turn up for the trial... and so the whole Court case could just drag on and on and on. Possibly into next year. We hope and pray that the Judge will want to proceed in her absence if she pulls a no-show out of the bag though.

All the fight and emotion in me has subsided and I cannot push for justice any more. It has taken too much out of me. The experts can fight it now.

In saying "I accept", I feel happier. I feel that I can live through it and I can still hold close to me what is important. I have my family. I have a few close friends who know. And these loved ones are what have become my home and my sanctuary and my rock. Home isn’t a place for me anymore. Home is a stillness of mind and of heart. And I feel this when I am with those I love. This is the most wonderful epiphany to have had. I can finally accept.