Parking Fine - Dropped Footway

I had a child throw up all over me today. That, I can cope with. You have to cope in these situations, and it must feel far worse for the child... I mean, they are the ones being sick.

What was a million times worse was spotting the Parking Ticket poking out from under my windscreen wiper after a lovely coffee and natter with one of my colleagues. I’d spent an hour or so with her talking about boys and manicures and girlie things and forgetting about the sick. I had in fact completely forgotten about the sick. And then...

“Civil Enforcement Officer 7*9 who had reasonable cause to believe the following parking contravention had occurred [27]. Parked in a special enforcement area adjacent to a dropped footway”

Bollocksy-pants-arsing HELL! What dropped footway? What? That?!!!! That thing there? With the yellow paving slabs covered in pimple bumps? Where are the signs? Where are the markings on the road? How on earth can I have noticed that dropped footway when I was doing one of the hardest things known to Women... The Reverse Parallel Park?

So I called Southwark Council. I was put through to The Southwark Council Parking Shop. This is where you pay your Parking Fines. Don’t know why they call it The Shop when you clearly won’t be buying.

I got to speak with Isabel. I put my case to her. I asked her why I had been ticketed when there were no signs and no restriction markings on the road. And Isabel from Southwark Parking Shop trills out at me almost smugly, “Well, it’s in the Highway Code”.
I heard the words fall from my mouth in retort, “Well, I didn’t read that page of the Highway Code all those years ago and quite frankly I think the Council are probably hoping that nobody reads that page because they can then slam us in our state of blissful ignorance with a Parking Ticket.”

It was the moment that Isabel from Southwark Parking Shop repeated, “Well, it’s in the Highway Code” that I told her that a child had thrown up all over me at school.

She fell silent and it made me feel better.