My First Encounter with a New Yorker

It was NYC on my own today. Rob was at work. Probably a good thing as it threw me right into having to fend for myself... la-la-la.

First stop Barnes & Noble...

"Hi, I'm looking for a map of NYC."

"You need to talk to our Map Man.... HARRY, Harry, there's someone that wants to talk to you!" I was led to the back corner where an earnest man appeared, as though I'd made his day, from behind a display of ordinance surveys. He wore beige pants, belted high, with his beige shirt tucked in tight. He pushed his glasses firmly to the top of his nose, clasped his hands and with a lick of the lips he began, "So you're looking for a map!"

He was excited. He had a captive audience.

"Yep, a map of NYC please."

Well, we've got all kinds of maps" and, with a twist of the hips and an in-turned knee, he swivelled to sweep his balletic hand poetically across the array beside him as though he were introducing me to his children. "Let's start with size. Do you want a big map or a small map?"

"I'll go for small."

"Do you want Manhattan only?"

"Yep, that will do."

"Do you want street names or attractions?"

"Um..." It was a tricky call... "Well, can I have street names with maybe ... um... maybe a few attractions thrown in?" I gesticulated with open hands and raised eyebrows... tentative. I watched to see if maybe I'd asked for the impossible combination. He hesitated. I had given him a challenge and he was allowing me to see him face up to it. And, with a suddenly explosive "Sure, we can do that!" and a buckling of the knees with excitement, he clapped his hands and took a deep breath to continue. It was far from over.

"So do you want Metro and Buses, or just Metro?" and "Do you want this small or this small?!" And he proudly pulled one out that, folded, was the size of a credit card. He held it lightly with little fingers extended into the air.

"I think that one might be a little too small, you know?" He clearly liked this map. My reckoning is that it may have been one of his favourites.

"Okay, I'm hearing you, I'm hearing you. Okay... This one... THIS one... you're... gonna....LOVE!" Well, with such an introduction, I was relieved to find that it was, in fact, perfect. A laminated finish, the right balance of information, pocket-size, no magnifying glass required.

"This is PERfect". I was getting into the swing of stressing the right part of my adjectives for MAXimum effect. He flushed with glee. "It is exACtly what I was looking for!"

"But... wait... just wait a moment!" He stepped round to my side now as though he were going to show me a picture of his wife or boyfriend... "Are you sure..." he'd become confidential, his voice dropping to a mere whisper..."Are you sure that this one isn't better for you?" And he opened it up like a treasure chest. We have maps like this in London; they pop out when you fold back the sides. It only seemed right to feign utter wonderment at this map and, with the best "WOWWWWW!" I could muster, we both paused to look at it for a few reverent seconds. And then he closed it up again with an affectionate sigh and a whimsical smile. He loved that map. It didn't matter that I wasn't going to buy it. It was his pièce de résistance and he'd had the chance to share it with me.

I bet Harry liked pop-up books when he was a kid. I don't like them when they get bent in all the wrong places and stop working.